BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS »

Saturday, May 29, 2010

.... but I love You..... (part 11)

**O'Brien**


2 classes are finally over when the bell is ring indicating lunch time. Throughout those 4 hours, my mind was just not focusing on the subject being taught. Instead, it keeps lingering on a certain girl. God Lord, I can't keep her from my mind!

Heidi Hilton....Heidi Hiton....Heidi Hilton....

"Oooh, someone is drooling!" The voice snap me back from my own musing. I am blushing at being caught red-handed fantasizing the girl that makes my heart beat at an unusual rate.

"Hey buddy, let's go have lunch!" I said to Nathan in over-cheerful tone. He raised his eyebrows and open his mouth slightly as if wanting to say something but decided against it. Good... the last thing I wanna deal is the non-stop question bombarded by Nate.

However, my relief is short-lived by the time we enter cafeteria. Nathan keep prodded me about a certain "dimple-cheek-chick" as he called her.

"Man, I can't believe you got it bad," he said, smirking. I just shake my head.

"Nah, it's not my fault that I acted like that. This feeling just grow in me," I said with a far away look. Nate patted my back and nodded in satisfactory.

"Good for you, man. I'm glad you found someone else better and prettier than the junk," he cringed at the merely mention of my ex.

I snorted. "Well, she is my biggest mistake that I could ever did so far. Don't remind me of her, she's a fucking bitch that will pollute my brain, ugh."

"Speaking of which..." Nate mumbled, pointing his head toward the current subject of our conversation.

Well, time to face the past, I guess.

**Jane**

"Well, well, look who's here," I said out loud. Gerthrude just nodded at my sudden turn of my attention. "He looks happy, and for some reason it makes me angry," I clenched my fist so tight that my hands might explode if I did not careful with that.

"Let it be, Jane. What's done is done," Gerth reasoned. I glared at her menacingly.

"Let it be???? Are you crazy?" I hissed, while we both take a seat with our own lunch food. "He is SUPPOSED to feel miserable, not HAPPY!" I knocked the table with my spoon loudly to emphasize my point. "He standing there looking happy makes me feel like I am not so important to him anyway!"

"Calm down Jane. You told me yourself that O'Brien is just not man enough for you, not compare to Lance. You got Lance now, so there's no meaning to dwell with your ex," Gerth tried to be reasoned to me again. I puffed out breath, my nostril is still flare. I supposed Gerth is right but my egoistic doesn't want me to just agree with her.

"Anyway, I told Kendra about our break-up," I changed the subject.

"And...?" Gerth persisted, she did know that I have some more to tell her.

"And I told her the opposite of what really happen," I stated bluntly. Gerth clicked on her tongue while shaking her head. "What?" I demanded, not liking her change of expression.

"Jane, it is bad enough to get caught cheating by your own ex, but it's worst to lie to your sister about that. Do you know what consequences it might be? Not only O'Brien will be totally blamed for the things that you do, but nevertheless, O'Brien's sister is your sister's roomate and it'll make things much complicated there."

I pursed my lips. What a speech! Who is she to condemn of what I did? "You know what Gerth? You just make me lost an appetite to eat," I spatted and leave her like that. One thing I hate is to let people judge my every move and act. It makes me so damn sick!

***********************************************************

**Archelle**

Phew! Man, this job is no fun at all. The atmosphere is so damn hot, and I was getting bored of tending the machine, doing the same thing over and over again. And this is just my first day of punishment. I have to go through a week to do this! This makes me feel regret about what makes me in my position now, but I can't do anything to turn back time right?

It's all your fault, Kendra! I cursed her many times already in my mind. I look at my watch, and smiled slightly. It's 5 minutes before 6pm, which means my job is almost done.

By the time I prepared myself to leave, my cell phone is ringing. At first I thought it was Brie who called me, but when I see my brother's name on my screen, I can't help but to smile and hoping that he's okay at school.

"Whassup Brien?" I greeted him as I walk back to my dorm.

"Very good!" He said, almost shouting. I laughed, feeling weird of his overexcitement but nevertheless happy for him.

"So... what makes you so happy?" I prodded, hoping for the answer right away.

"Guess what? I am falling in love at first sight!" He speak that word so fast that I couldn't catch up what he is trying to say.

"Good God, you talked so fast! Repeat that again?" Just then a car pass me with a loud engine sound. "Fuck you ASSHOLE!" I called after the retreated car. "Sorry, that's not for you," I muttered sheepishly.

"I know, I hear the car too." He chuckled. "What I said is, I found new love." He giggled and it makes me laugh so hard that tears streaming down on my cheeks. My brother is giggling like a girl!

"Well done O'Brien! I hope this girl is better than that tramp," I pursed my lips of even mentioning Jane indirectly, as if it left a sour taste on my mouth.

He snorted. "Yeah, this girl is way much better than her, I guarantee it. Her name is Heidi Hilton, and I can't get my mind off her ever since we met." I can sense his faraway look right now, and it makes me wanna hug him with relief. Thank God he is over Jane, or else I would have to kill her first if that's the only way I can make O'Brien better.

"Uh-oh, somebody got it very bad," I teased him.

"Ha-Ha, funny that Nathan said the same thing to me too."

"Well, he's right. We both right." I wave at my classmate who just happen to pass me. I was only a few feets before I reach my room.

"So how's your first day of class, sis?" He asked me. I sighed deeply. It brought back memory of how Kendra made me come late to class, and how did I ended up having lunch with Marcus Lawrence, and exchange our number. And how Brie must feel, devastated maybe, and how guilty I am to leave her alone in the first place that brings about her encounterment with Kendra, and how boring I feel while doing my punishment duty. I told my brother all that in a mere minutes while I was landing on my bed.

"Hold on a sec. Who's Marcus Lawrence? This is the first time I ever heard you mentioning guy's name before," he asked with slightly hint of tease. I blushed in embarassment, suddenly feel shy of talking about Marcus.

I cleared my throat many times before I answered him, "Marcus is my classamate."

"Just classmate...?" He drawled the word on purpose.

"Yes we are," I defended, but dunno why my heart is telling me otherwise. I chose to ignore it for the time being.

"Okay, if you said so," he dropped the subject, which I am gladly he did so. We talked some more before we ended our call. I stared at my cell phone for a long time, suddenly have the urge to text messaging Marcus, asking how he is doing now, but I decided against it. I don't want him to think that I have a thing for him, it'll make him feel gloat. I landed my head on my pillow and planning on taking a brief nap before I do my laundry. It sure feel peaceful being alone here in my room, without Kendra whether she is in sane condition or not.

Within second, I fell asleep.

***********************************************************
**Kendra**

Thank God I made a deal with Roger before I was due to perform my punishment! Or else, I wouldn't have to be so energetic for the next 2 hours of cleaning the toilet. I mean, come on! There are tons of toilet in this large college, and how could I finish cleaning it all in 2 hours time? Only insane people - and certainly with help of drugs - can do that!

By the time I was back into my room, I didn't feel tired at all! It seems as if my energy haven't been consume at all! What a great wonder this drug could do to a human being.

I saw Archelle already in La-La land, with her soft snoring, sprawling on her bed without even have a chance to change her clothes. I smirked. She must be exhausted with all those tending cashier machine all those 2 hours. Hmm, if only she is nice to me, I could help her deal with it in just a click of a finger.

But then, I could not tell her about my secret weapon, for fear she will inform the dorm manager, and I'll screw if anyone know about this. Not only my future career will be over, I will also automatically being disowned by my family. Despite being one of the blacksheep in the family (the other blacksheep is Jane), my sisters still care for family reputation.

I hear Archelle's cell phone beeping, indicating there's a message. I look hard on her, but she didn't even stir a bit. And so, out of curiosity and excited due to the drug effect, I snatched her cell phone and read the incoming message.

Hey lovely lady, how's ur duty going? I bet u'r exhausted, and so I was thinking of treat u a dinner or something? Oh, BTW, this is Marcus ;)

Marcus? Who's Marcus? And as far as I know, Archelle never show any interest in a guy before. Could it be that finally some guy attracted to her? Suddenly an evil thought come into my mind, and I have my lop-sided grin. Well, what could be more fun than screwing things up?

I quickly replied:

Dinner? Sorry, I have some guys lining up to be fucked with :p

Then came the replied again. Wow, he sure is a fast replier, or is it my reply that make him so anxious to reply?

What do u mean, u fuck some guys out there? Randomly?

I looked at Archelle again, and breathe in sigh of relieve to see that she still in the same position. With final glance toward her, I began to reply:

Yes, of course. But if u want, u can be my guy for tonight. We'll have great fucking time lol

There! I did it, ha-ha. I feel good about it, and I cannot wait to see what outcome that might happen next. I immediately deleted all our conversation, confidently sure that he will not reply and maybe will not ever send message to her again.

As I put her cell phone back to its original place, I stared at her again with a mock pity face.

You are so screw now, Archelle.... Pity you.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Feel the wind...

I know what it is
I can feel it
I truly can sense its presence
But I see nothing

When I'm happy
When I'm sad
Just the feel of you
Makes my heart soothe.

You are nothing like tons of gold,
Nothing like a million dollar,
Nothing like a famous star.
You are just a wind.

No face to express yourself,
No legs and arm to do things,
No mouth to speak your thoughts,
You can only blow.

You never know,
How much I yearn for you,
How bad I need you,
Feeling you makes me calm.

'Though i can't see you,
Can't talk to you,
Can't touch you,
But I know you were there beside me

You are my family,
You are my friend,
You certainly are my lover,
Above all you are my WIND!

This girl.....

This girl, is so tired
Tired of all of this,
Of pain enduring,
Of some kind of rejection.

This girl, she needs someone.
To hold her,
To listen to her,
To make her feel belonged,

This girl, is feeling numb
Feeling lonely,
Empty heart,
Lost soul.

This girl, wish she has wing
So she could fly,
Fly to anywhere she wants,
Feel the freedom

This girl, has a dream
Her only dream,
To search herself,
To find her soul back.

This girl, has lost her happiness
Doesn't know why,
Yearning to get it back,
But doesn't know how.....

why....?

Why...
Did I feel this way?
Why...
Did I even think about it?

Why....
Did I always wrong?
Why....
Should I even consider it?

Why....
It didn't go my way?
Why....
It never reach me?

Why....
Is so difficult?
Why....
Can I just hold it?

Why....
Am I keep dreaming?
Why...
This dream never come true?

Why....
Am I still hurt?
Why....
Am I just be strong?

We can only QUESTION it, but it is not easy to find the ASNWER....
in fact, it may take FOREVER or even NEVER to reach the answer.....
The question is WHY?
The answer said ONLY DESTINY WILL TELL....

DESTINY feels like an INFINITY to me.....
It feels like you want to touch the star but you know it takes TIME to do that
And I'm not sure if I have much MORE time anymore.....

Out of Nowhere

Out of nowhere,
You came into my life,
Total stranger,
Somehow feel connected.

Out of nowhere,
Never dream of revealing too much,
Something about u,
Makes me do just that.

Out of nowhere,
Feels like a lost bird,
Who found back its wing,
I can fly again,
Chirping with happiness.

Out of nowhere,
You make me smile,
You make me happy,
You make me sad in a good way,
You being yourself is what I like most.

Distance is just a word,
No excuse to not stay in touch,
No way in this world,
Will I forget you.

Even if you forget me,
Never will I do just that,
'Cause deep in my heart,
Sweet memory still lingering.

Gone....

I don't know,
If I can handle this anymore,
If I'm gone,
Will you be alright?

I failed everyone,
I hurt them,
I'm not good to them,
I better be alone.

I lost too many things,
I gain too little,
I remember too many,
Forgotten by too many.

This pain is just unbearable,
But only I can feel it,
Don't wanna share it,
'Coz it'll be cruel to do just that.

Everyone deserve their own happiness,
Who am I to spoil it?
I am just nobody so to speak,
Why should I be any matter to them?

I hate this feeling,
Of hope that soon will be crushed,
Didn't I learned enough lesson?
Why am I still doing it?

Hope, how irony it is,
Always hoping for something,
In the end, I have nothing,
I'm giving up hope.

Yesterday, today, tomorrow,
Who knows what might happen to me?
If I'm gone someday,
Please forgive me.....

Dream...reachable or not?

Dream...
It feels like an impossible thing,
It is easy to dream,
We said it out loud,
We write it in a paper,
We type it in a computer,
Even when we close our eyes,
We still can dream...

But...
As an old saying goes,
"Easier said than done",
It is like trying to move a mountain,
To get to the destination

There's no such thing as "shortcut",
When it comes to reaching a dream...

You may be rich,
You may be famous,
You may have superpower...

But...
In reality,
Nothing is easier like a click of fingers

Dream...
Is like a star,
Where we keep wanting to reach it,
It seems impossible,
But it is not...
As long as we have courage,
Enthusiasm, and willingness,
Impossible might become possible!

IF YOU DARE TO DREAM, YOU HAVE TO DARE TO ACHIEVE IT....