.... but I love You..... (part 19)

O'Brien is getting anxious day by day. He felt doubt about his feeling anymore, and he couldn't do anything about it. Even Nathan, his best friend, can only be by his side and watched the sky falling, which is not yet to happen. Ever since he accidentally bumped into the most prettiest girl he ever saw, Heidi Hilton, and ever since he got her phone number, he had yet to have gut to dial her number and said hello.

It's been 4 months, and O'Brien has yet to make his first move. They met occassionally during lunch but only briefly because Heidi is tagging along with her bunch of friend. O'Brien could only watched from the distance, seeing Heidi laughing shyly at her friend's jokes, and he also noticed that Heidi occassionally steal a glance at him when he is not looking. Whenever their eyes met, it seems like you can see the electricity that goes on between them. Nathan, seeing the obvious picture of it, is getting frustrated with his best friend for his lack of courage to ask her out.

And now, Nathan once again caught O'Brien doodling Heidi's name on his notepad during Psych class. Nathan tried to kick O'Brien's chair but O'Brien seems so far away. Miss Clarice, the Psych teacher, called O'Brien's name as she noticed that he is not with them now. Nathan kicked his chair again but still no response. Nathan gave up and just sighed deeply, thinking that O'Brien really need some help, and obviously he need other's help as he couldn't even manage himself.

"Penny for your thought, O'Brien Stevenson?" Miss Clarice is now sitting on the edge of his desk, raising her voice slightly to get his attention. Miss Clarice always have a huge crush on O'Brien ever since he attend her class. She will steal a secret glance toward him whenever she got a chance. Learning that he is now single, she feel more excited to lull him to her. She is just turn to 25 years old, still young and beautiful and sexy, as her friends always describe her. Many of her friends still wondering why she, a beautiful girl, is still single. Even some of the male teacher had tried to ask her for a date but she declined them. To her, those guys are not her type at all. She was more into the shy-and-young-type of guy.

And that guy happen to be the one named O'Brien Stevenson.

She cleared her throat again, and this time it got O'Brien's full attention, his face turns pale at first then when he saw her eyes on his notepad full with Heidi's name, he covered it immediately and a blush crept into his face. Miss Clarice caught up the name scribbled on his notepad, and it makes her so angry with jealousy. She couldn't accept that her crush is crushing on someone else. The fact that someone is her own niece, Heidi Hilton, makes her even more angrier.

Wait 'till I get my hands on you, you little slutty niece of mine! She thought evilly. O'Brien, seeing his Psych teacher turned devilish look, gulped in anxiety.

"I....i'm sorry, Miss Clarice. I......" he stammered, unable to finish his words, his hands turn cold and clammy. Miss Clarice stared at him, and she feel her heart melt at seeing him so afraid of her. She decided that she will let him go, for now. She can hear the huge sighed in relief coming from O'Brien when she retreated back in front of the class. All of her students has gone very quiet. She chuckled inwardly and continue her lesson about dealing with stress. She will keep in mind about what she want to do to her niece later on.

*************************

"I can't believe she let you go just like that," whined Nathan when the class is finished. O'Brien just shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "Man, she must be having a crush on you," Nathan jokingly said and slapped hard on O'Brien's shoulder, made O'Brien cringed in pain.

"Dude, that's hurt!" he poke Nathan's ribs playfully while putting his books on his bag pack. "I have no class after this so I'm headed home. What about you?"

"Damn.... I still have Biology class at 3pm. I hate lab session, and I certainly hate that partner of mine," Nathan complained as they walked out of the class and went into their locker.

"Gerthrude is such a whiny ass, like you," O'Brien laughed out loud at his own joke. Nathan just stared at him.

"You better watch your mouth kiddo, or I......" he stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the object of his best friend's undying love walking across the hall. He poked O'Brien's rib, and indicated the girl with his head.

"Wha-.... oh...." O'Brien stop, and just stared at Heidi Hilton walking graciously with her group of friends. Their eyes met and instantly he felt like his world is being paused and totally out of space with just the two of them in there. Heidi gulped nervously at seeing O'Brien's eyes, her heart suddenly pumped twice as fast as before.

Both of them never notice that Nathan and the girls has left them alone. O'Brien looked around for his friend, needed his support, but Nathan is nowhere to be seen. He sighed nervously, and decided that he has to make a move or else he will lose her.

"Hi, Heidi," he greet her. Heidi smiled shyly, her face is flushed with red.

"Hi. Haven't talk to you for a long time huh?" she said while leaning against somebody's locker.

"Mmm, sorry about that. You are busy with your work, and me too." Both of them became silent, just staring at each other's eyes.

"Heidi-"

"O'Brien-". They laughed at their clashed of words. "You go first," offered O'Brien.

Heidi cleared her throat. "Umm... I was thinking, about..... hanging out with you tonight?"

O'Brien feel like he wanted to jump in excitement. He can't believe that Heidi just ask him out!

"Yeah, sure, why not? I'll pick you up at 7pm, how is it?" he said, maintain his cool act, while inside he was so excited. He couldn't wait to tell Nathan about this.

"Cool, so..... I'll see you later?" Heidi asked in a tiny voice. O'Brien just nodded, become speechless so sudden. Heidi then bid her goodbye to him and walked rather fast back to her locker. O'Brien leaned on his locker with a dreamy look on his face. Little did he knows that there are two people watching and hearing their conversation just now, and it made these two people angry!

.... but I love You..... (part 18)

Archelle couldn't believe it that she actually said it! She was so nervous that as soon as she confessed her love to Marcus, she ran away without even waiting for his reaction. No, she was not ready to see what might be the reaction that Marcus give. She was not ready to face any possibility of being rejected.

She was not ready. That's all.

She was so focus on getting away from Marcus that she never saw someone walking the opposite direction, and ended up bumping with each other and fell to their own butt. Both of them groaned in pain, and then both of them became silent as they heard their voices, which sounds familiar.

Archelle opened her eyes and gasped loudly when she saw the person that she bumped into just now.

"Oh my God," she whispered in awe-struck. The other person just stared at her, with moist suddenly form in her eyes.

"Archie?"

Archelle blinked several time before reality struck into her. She was facing her bestfriend - ex-bestfriend to be exact.

"Brie?" Archie said in low tone, while getting up from the grass below her. She rub her bottom a bit and cringed in pain as a result. Brie was on her side in a second.

"Are you alright? I'm so sorry I didn't see you," Brie said softly while hesitating of whether she should hold Archelle or not, and in the end decided against it as she still doubted that her ex-bestfriend already forgot about the incident.

Archelle shook her head. "No...no, it's my fault. I was running away from something and didn't see you," she explained in a rush, and took her deep breath. She stared at figure form of Brie and noted that Brie looked different from the last time she saw her. Brie wore her hair longer, had a very suit make-up on her face, and is wearing a chic-kind-of clothes, which she never saw Brie wore before. She knew Brie as a casual-type-of girl, always wear T-Shirt and Jeans, and according to Brie, dresses are her biggest turn-off.

Brie sensed that Archie is assessing her, and she tried hard to fight her blush but failed miserably. She cleared her throat, pulling Archelle from her own musing. "Owh...sorry... mm you look.... different," she said, stammered. She is actually feeling nervous of meeting Brie after not seeing her for so long. She was planning on seeing Brie, but she never expected that the chance is coming right now, so she didn't prepare any of it (well, she never prepare for ANYTHING today) and makes her become tongue-tied. Brie, still not completely get over her feeling toward Archelle, is feeling warm all over her body at just seeing Archelle, and she cursed herself silently for letting her feeling overtake her.

"Nah.... I looked the same," Brie waved off Archelle's word with her right hands, and shrugged. "YOU look different. Your eyes are shining and your cheeks are so red. Are you just having a date with Marcus?"

The mere sound of his name makes Archelle choked up and coughed several times. Brie once again just going to put her hand on Archelle's back and do backrub but then she stop herself. She cursed again. Once Archelle settled down, she took a deep breath and answered Brie, "Umm, actually, I.....I did....ran away from....Marcus."

"Oh?" Brie raised her eyebrows, curious. "What have you done to him?"

"I....." Archelle fidgeting on her feet while clenching and unclenching her fists. Before she could continued, someone is calling her and it make her heart stop the moment she recognize the voice.

"Archelle, wait up!" Marcus is running toward the girls. He was gasping for air by the time he was on their side. 'I thought I couldn't catch you up...oh, hi," he noticed Brie who was just standing rigidly. "Are you Archelle's friend?"

The simple and innocent question is enough to make Brie's world shaken for a moment. She didn't know how to answer that so she just remain silent. Archelle sense the tension in the air, so she volunteer to save Brie from answering Marcus. "Yes, we are friend. Best friend, indeed. I thought you remember her, Marcus."

Marcus just stared at Brie, tried to remember if he ever see her before, then a memory flashed of Brie punching his face at Pizza Hut about 4 months ago when he was just getting to know Archelle. "Yes, I still remember the first girl that punched me so hard that it bruised for a week," he recalled with a grin. Brie blushed furiously, embarass at the memory of it but then she sighed inwardly as she recalled that at the same night her friendship with Archelle was cracking because of her stupid mouth.

"Sorry for that," she muttered. Marcus just shook his head.

"It's alright. I completely understand that you are being protective to your best friend. I was such a total jerk at that time." Marcus then furrowed his brows. Come to think of it, as far as Archelle was concern, he rarely heard nor see Archelle hanging out with Brie again since that night. He still wonder whatever happen to both of them, and sometimes he thought maybe it was his fault for entering Archelle's life and replacing Brie in a best-friend-spot, but he never raised this concern to Archelle because he don't want to cross Archelle's personal line.

Brie became uncomfortable as minutes ticking by. She can't stand this anymore so she make an excuse of leaving them alone. She was supposed to go meet her roomates in about 5 minutes and she didn't want to be late. Plus, she didn't really want to observe the romantic mood between Archelle and Marcus. By the look of Archelle, who is still flushing, she can tell that Archelle might already confess to Marcus. Who are you kidding, she is best friend with Archelle for 5 damn years!

"Brie, I'll text message you later," Archelled said to Brie's retreating back. Brie just wave without turning to them and keep walking.

As soon as they were left alone, Archelle didn't dare to look into Marcus' penetrating gaze, so she sticked her eyes on the grass. Marcus put his finger on her chin and forced her to look at his eyes. "Archelle....."

Suddenly, a panic burst into her. "I....I need to go, Marcus....."

"But-"

"We will hang out tonight then we will talk okay? I....I-"

Before Archelle could even complete her babbling, she was quieted with a touch of her lips with his lips. Marcus kissed her tenderly at first, protrude his tongue at her lips, asking permission for her mouth to open up. She then gradually open her mouth and their tongue are met, and fell into deep, passionate kiss. They broke the kiss when they lack of air to breathe after about a minute.

"Don't run away from me again, huh?" Marcus whispered to the still moist lips of her. She just nodded and smiled sheepishly. They hugged each other tightly as if they never want to let go. "I love you, Archelle Stevenson," he whispered in her ear. She jerked up, and let go of her hug and stared at his eyes to make sure that she didn't hear it wrongly.

"You....really.....love me?" she said slowly. Marcus smiled tenderly and put his thumb on her lips.

"Yes. I do love you, since the first time I saw you entering that damn class," he said with such full of love that it make Archelle want to cry.

Archelle feel like want to scream out loud. She was so happy that Marcus love her as much as she loves him. She hugged him again and kissed his neck several time and repeatedly utter "I love you" to him.

From the distance, Brie watched the scene with tears in her eyes. She has some kind of mix emotion when she watched Marcus and Archelle kissed. She feels happy for her best friend for finally found the one for her, and at the same time she feels sad because she really wish that she was on Marcus' shoes at that moment, but she shook her head at the mere thought of it. It will never happen, Brie. Face it up! The phone ringing startled her, and she answer it immediately.

"Where are you Brie? We are hungryyyyy," drawled out Maria.

Brie smirked. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming. Jeez, it's not like the food will run away from us, ya know?" she said sarcastically.

"Get your ass here now!" Bella now. Brie just laughed at her roomates' antic, shaking her head and ending the call. She glanced at the newly couple for the last time with a sad smile before she retreated to the impatient duo roomates.

************************

"What's taking you so long, chica?" Bella said in a slightly annoyed tone when finally Brie reached them. Maria is sulking that she didn't even acknowledged Brie's presence.

Brie has a darken, sullen look on her face and it grows concern out of both of her roomates. Maria, forgetting her sulking act, was immediately on Brie's side. "What's wrong, little girl? You look....devastated."

"And pale too. Are you having a fever or something?" Bella put her back of her hands on Brie's forehead and felt that there is no rising in her temperature. Brie just stared at both of them with vulnerable look. "Tell us, Brie. What happen?" Bella urged, her concerned growing more and more now.

Brie just shook her head. "I'll tell you guys later okay? Right now we got to fill somebody's stomach in before it started to throwing tantrum," she attempted a weak joke, but still is enough to bring a smile on her roomates' face.

***************************************

.... but I love You..... (part 17)

The library is quiet as usual. Well, that is the main purpose of the library- to have a nice and quiet study time. Brie was seated at the slightly hidden corner with tons of books about make-up on both of her sides. She was cranking up her brain, and huffed in frustration of not being able to understand a word about the chemical reaction in every products of make-up. She couldn't understand why she need to learn all of this chemistry stuff when she knows she'll ended up being a make-up artist, and not a make-up advisor.

Suddenly she felt like someone is staring at her back, she can actually felt as if the eyes are just penetrating her back. She turned around and there it is, guilty as charge. She groaned out loud, and cursed of the so-called-beautiful weather for making fun of her day. She doesn't need to face the one person that she hate the most now. The girl is walking toward her, and she pretend to concentrate hard on the ever-confusing chemistry of make-up.

"Hey," soft voice greeted her ear. She was froze for the moment, couldn't believe it in her ear that this girl ever spoke softly to her. She turn her face to see the sunken-looked-face of Kendra Louis.

"Hey," Brie said emotionless.

"Mind if I sit here?" Kendra asked, while struggling to keep her balance with the thick-medical-books. Brie just mumbled in agreement. Kendra then took her seat in front of Brie and started to open up the medical book, which Brie caught up the title "Biochemistry" on it.

"I hate chemistry so much," Brie muttered as if to herself. Kendra just snorted.

"Me too, but our professor insisted that we should master biochemistry or else do not dream of becoming a doctor," Kendra complained without breaking her eye contact with the book. "What are you studying?"

Brie indicated her book. "Chemistry on make-up world. Sounds fun right?"She stressed out the word "fun" in a sarcastic way. "I don't know why we have to learn all of this. I thought make-up is supposed to be all about art."

Kendra chuckled a little. "Well, I can help you, if you want."

Wait. Are you kidding? Kendra Louis is offering some help? Brie blinked her eyes for a several times before she could think of a respond.

"Well... if you're willing to help...." Brie hesitated. Kendra sensed it, so she looked at Brie straight to her eyes and smile reassuring.

"Let's just put all the hatred we had on each other behind us," she suggested. Brie looked at her sideway. "You are not friend with her again, Brie, and as long as you didn't spill the thing about me to her, I am cool with you."

"But what you did is wrong, Kendra. The fact that she used to be my friend doesn't change any of my perspective on what you did. It still wrong to me," Brie hissed, began to feel annoy.

"The fact that you like girl, is okay for you?" Kendra countered back. Brie's face became red.

"I never said I like girl!" She whispered harshly.

"But everybody knows you hit on Archelle and get rejected, Brie. Ev-ery-bo-dy!"

"That doesn't make me a lesbian!"

"Oh come on-"

"Stop it okay!" Brie had enough. She was just making a move to stand up when Kendra grabbed her forearm tightly.

"Please don't go. I want to....help you with....the chemistry," Kendra said in a small voice. Brie just stared at her in disbelieve. She didn't how how Kendra can change her personality in a blink of an eye. One second she was a kind girl, the next thing she became a bitch, and then she changed back to the previous one. Brie thought for a second, then she sat down. "Thank you," Kendra said with a slight smile.

"I accept your offer for MY own sake okay? This doesn't mean we are friends, got it?" Brie warned her. Kendra just shrugged her shoulder and began to take a look at the text that Brie had been staring for hours.

"Oh... okay, I think I know what these texts means. C'mere, Brie, let's get started." Brie rolled her eyes, but did comply and listen intently to Kendra's explaination. After about an hour or so, Brie finally can made sense of the texts, and when she looked at Kendra, she actually offering her a genuine smile to her.

"Thank you Kendra. Now I know what these craps means," Brie said jokingly. Kendra nodded gratefully.

"Glad to be on your service."

Brie looked at her watch and noted that it was finally time to lunch. "Hey, I gotta go, I'm hungry, and I don't want to keep my roomates waiting for me."

"Yeah, go on, I still need to do some revision, and am gonna skip lunch anyway," Kendra said while she is still slipping the pages over and over again.

Brie grabbed her bag pack and library books to be return to its appropriate place, and got up from her seat. She held out her hand to Kendra, and Kendra gladly accepted it. "Thanks again."

"Your welcome."

As Brie left the seat, Kendra couldn't help but smile at what just happen between them. She cannot believe that she can be so kind to Brie, but then she shrugged it off and continued her revision.

************************************

Lunch time. As the clock struck to 12.30pm, all students gather their things way too fast and just leave the lecture hall without so much as to said thanks to Mr.Rufus, well, except for Archelle & Marcus who still have manner.

"I'm glad that some student still have manner," Mr.Rufus said, sighed. Marcus just chuckled, while Archelle was fidgeting a bit. Marcus was left unnoticed.

"What's wrong with you? You look like you were going to pass out or something," he rumbled while putting his books into his bagpack.

"Nothing. Let's go," Archelle held Marcus' forearm, which was a big mistake for her because as soon as she touched his forearm, she jumped like getting an electric shock. Marcus just cringed and looked at Archelle with confusion. After they said goodbye to Mr.Rufus, both of them went to cafeteria. No conversation was held during their walk. Marcus was getting worried of his best friend, wondering what made her acted weird so sudden today. Meanwhile, Archelle was getting more nervous and she even had a hard time to breathed properly. Marcus then stop her midway by standing in front of her.

"Are you okay? You're breathless," he said with worried look on his face. Archelle took a deep breath and suddenly she found the grass on her feet much interesting. She was mumbling something but Marcus is having a hard time to hear it so he asked her to repeat it again.

"I...have something to tell you," she said in tiny voice. Marcus smiled and patted both her shoulders.

"Do tell now, or should we go to the cafe first and then you can tell me whatever is bothering you...?" He suggested. Archelle shook her head.

"No, I wanna tell you right here, right now," she insisted, clenching and unclenching her fist. Marcus was frowning now, becoming more confuse with her.

"Okay, tell me then, I'm waiting," he said, folding his arms around his body.

Archelle is getting frustrated. She couldn't even form the right word to say, and it sucks because these kind of things always happen when she is nervous, and now is not the exception of it.

"I'm waiting.....waiting......" He said in sing-song tone, while whistling and tapping his right foot. Then, suddenly he caught her telling him something but he couldn't catch it up. "What is it again? You talk too fast."

Archelle cleared her throat. "Marcus Lawrence.... I.... I adore you as my best friend."

He smiled at that word. "Yes, I feel the same too, my best friend-"

"...but I love you Marcus Lawrence!" She cut in, and then followed by silence. A total silence. Before Marcus could even react, Archelle suddenly just ran away from him without another word. Marcus saw her with his eyes, mouth was open wide now, and blinked his eyes in disbelief.

"Archelle.... Oh God, did I just heard her saying I love you to me?" He muttered to himself, and continue his walk to the cafeteria in awe.

.... but I love You..... (part 16)

Brie was on the way to the library when her phone rang. She sighed deeply, slightly feel annoyed of being disturbed in a peaceful, beautiful morning.

"Hello?" She said matter-of-factly.

"Brie! Hi, love." Brie smiled at the sound of her beloved mom.

"Hi mom," she said, now in cheerful tone. She really miss her mom. Ever since the unwanted incident, she became homesick day by day. She text messaging her mom almost everyday, and called her every night. Her mom is her best friend that anyone could never have. Being an only child, Brie feel much loved by her mom. Her father, God bless him, has passed away due to leukaemia when Brie was just a year old. Her mom never remarried, because she said she will never replace dad from her heart.

Brie's mom, Nelly Matthews-Bright, is working as an executive manager in a business company. She work so damn hard just to give Brie the life that she could never had when she was at Brie's age now. Now, at 40 years old, Nelly was so proud of seeing Brie growing up so well and was on her way to Hollywood soon.

"How's my favourite girl?"

Brie smiled while stepping in front of the library, and she took a seat at the bench nearest. "I'm fine mom. I'm going back this weekend, for the mid-semester holiday," she said with full of excitement.

"Really? Wow, that's terrific! I can't wait to spend some time with you, baby," her mom said cheerfully.

"Me too," Brie mumbled.

"Mmm, well, Brie. I got something to tell you."

Something about the tone made Brie felt uneasy so suddenly. "Yes mom, what is it?"

"Promise me you would not freak out okay?"

Brie sighed. "Yes, mom. Now, spill the bean please?"

Nelly took a deep breath, quite shakily. "Brie... I'm getting married."

Silence is accompanying them for about 30 second before Brie practically yell at her mom. "You what, Mom???"

"I said I'm getting married," Nelly's tone began to strain at hearing Brie's harsh reaction. Brie felt like being shocked by an electricity at hearing her mom's confession. She thought mom will never remarry again and will stay loyal to dad. Obviously, all of it was wrong.

"Mom, but why?"

"Why do you ask that? Of course it is because I love him. He's my manager partner here in my office, he's nice to me, and he loves me too."

"What's his name?"

"Jamie Johnny, he is 45 years old, and he has a son and 2 daughters, all are in their 20's," her mom gave Brie the information excitedly. Brie hate to hear about it. Even though Brie wanted her mom to be happy, but thinking about her new step-dad, step-sisters and step-brother, she was afraid that she will be left out once they become 1 family.

"Brie? Are you still there?" Nelly said, felt worried about her daughter on the other side. Brie cleared her throat, just realized that she has became so quiet.

"Yes, mom. I...I'm not sure how to take this news.... it is so sudden..." she hesitated.

"Don't worry, we can postpone our wedding date-"

"No mom! Don't do that for my own selfish sake! I'm happy for you... it's just that, I am used to just have you all by myself. Thinking of sharing you with other people, it's just feel weird to me."

"Are you sure you're okay with it?"

"Yes, I'll get used to it, just need some time," Brie reassured her mom, even though she sounds not really convincing.

"Hmm okay...well, I gotta go, my boss is signalling for me. Love you, Brie."

"Love you too, mom." The line went dead. Brie stared at her cellphone for about a minutes, still disbelieved of what she just heard.

"Mom is getting married? Am I the only one that feels that the world is turning upside down?" She whispered to herself, before she stood up and made a move into the library. She feels that the day is not as beautiful as it seems.

**********************************

After the conversation with her brother last night, Archelle has a great determination to just confess to Marcus the moment she woke up the next morning. She woke up before her alarm set off, took her shower first, then get ready to go to class. Her roomate, Kendra, was just waking up when Archelle is getting ready to go.

In 4 months period, Archelle and Kendra has very little conversation together. Kendra never pulled any prank on Archelle again, and Archelle cannot help it but notice that Kendra is getting thinner and thinner. Even her tight blue jeans was clung loosely. Her face looked sunken too, Archelle thought she might feel too stress with her upcoming exam. Medical course is never easy, it can drive people crazy by just learning it. There are time when Archelle really want to ask Kendra about her well-being. Well, she is still mad about Jane ditching O'Brien, but she is not as mad as she was 4 months ago.

Kendra needs help, and it better be soon! Archelle thought while brushing her hair. The image of Marcus came back into her mind and she began to shiver with excitement. She couldn't wait to see him again. She missed him dearly, even though they met everyday & text messaging always. She want to hug him, to kiss him and whispered "I love you" into his ear. Oh, how great the power of love she felt at this moment.

"Hey, you're up early," mumbled Kendra as she walked to her closet and pick up her towel. Her hair is tousled everywhere and her eyes are not quite open yet, she did look like a walking zombie.

"Yep. I have something to do, urgent," Archelle replied nonchalantly, applying light make-up on her face. Once she felt satisfied with her look, she went to grab her bagpack and saying goodbye to Kendra. Kendra just waved her and mumbled goodbye to her while continuing wandering around the room.

Archelle was nervous. She was well-aware of it. She never felt so nervous before, that she even got palpitation because of it. She was happy, scare and desperate at the same time. She needed to get this over it. Just confess and run, that's what she intended to do.

*****************************************

Archelle couldn't keep her eyes from the doorway to the class. It's 7am and Marcus is still not arrive yet. She was getting more anxious by the time class is almost half-packed with eager students. When Marcus made his entrance to the class, with his usual whitish-teeth smile on his face, she was on the verge to get panic attack, but she did remain in control of herself.

"Morning, beautiful," Marcus said as he took a seat next to her.

She tried to reply him but the words got stuck in her throat. She cleared her throat. "Morning too."

He can sensed something is weird about Archelle and decided to ask about it. She just shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing. It's cold today."

"Cold? But you're sweating," he said softly, smirked.

Archelle couldn't even think about any words to reply so she just shrugged once again and act as if it was no deal. She couldn't believe it that her great determination suddenly lost at nowhere the moment she set her eyes on him. She was so determine to confess to him of how much she love him, but this is not as easy as it seems. In fact, this is the hardest thing she ever have yet to do so far.

Oh come on, Archelle! Get over it, you can't move on with your life without knowing about his feeling toward you! She screamed at herself in her mind.

"Umm Marcus? Are you busy tonight?" She asked with shaky voice.

"No, I'm all free. Why? Wanna hang out together?" Marcus raised his eyebrows with a sweet smile.

"Yeah, sure. You still owe me..." she trailed off.

"What...Oh! Yeah, I promise you to treat you a game of bowling," he slapped his forehead and sighed. He smiled back at her.

"Cool.... Glad you remember it."

"A guy has to remember every bit of his words that comes as a promise," he stated, proudly.

"You're such a brat," she slapped his forearm playfully. He just laughed.

The conversation was stop when Mr.Rufus came into the class and began his never-ending-4-hour-lectures. By the time the 2nd hour is up, almost half of the class are in their own la-la land, but Mr. Rufus doesn't seem to mind about it. Archelle couldn't fell asleep nor concentrate on the lectures. Her mind keep replaying on what she will tell Marcus later. She haven't decided on how she will tell him, where the situable place, and what word she should use. She groaned silently, wishing she had friends that know more about it. To tell the truth, she has no other close friends besides Marcus, ever since she & Brie broke up their friendship.

Brie......

Gosh, she suddenly miss Brie. It's been so long since they see each other. She miss Brie terribly. Brie will know what to do about this situation, she will be a great help for Archelle about this, considering that Brie has one experience of being in love before.

But.... she didn't know if Brie is still in love with her.... one way to find out was.... to talk to her roomates about it. But, her roomates are so resent on her, she never dare to go to their room anymore. They hate her because she hurt Brie's feeling. It made her feel so frustrated because they don't really understand the situation.

But still.... she missed her friendship with Brie. Brie and her had been bestfriend for 5 years, it was a shame that their friendship didn't last long over some thing called "love". Love can make people happy and sad at the same time, she guess.

She sighed deeply at the sentiment of it. Marcus heard it and he stared at her with a questioning look. She just shook her head and pretend to concentrate on the lectures.

***************************************

.... but I love You..... (part 15)

Another two months has passed..... seems like the wind has just blowing pass the tree, went by unnoticed. Two months with so much happening, whether it is good or bad..... hmm... maybe more to bad than good.

Archelle and Marcus are best friend. Everybody can see them as a potential loving couple, but to other's amazement, they haven't declare to each other yet. O'Brien even scolded his sister of how she should make a first move and confess to Marcus.

"Easy for you to say," Archelle snapped back, couldn't believe that her brother even dare to suggest such a thing. It was one night when Archelle decided that she had enough of burying her feeling. Initially she decided to just text messaging Marcus and confess to him that she loves him, but ended up dialing O'Brien's number. O'Brien was like "ooh" and "aah" when he heard about his sister's undying love confession. Archelle had to raise her voice a bit to stop him from pondering her. She was so in an unstable emotion now that she couldn't accept any kind of jokes. O'Brien understood then, and is willingly kept his mouth shut for the rest of Archelle's story.

"What's wrong with that? If you really want to confess to him, just go for it!" O'Brien said, not giving up on her.

"Look...here's the fact: I am a girl. G.I.R.L." Archelle insisted.

"So?"

"And guy, G.U.Y, is supposed to be the one who make the first move," she stated clearly.

"C'mon, sis! This is 21st century okay? Nobody care about that anymore!" O'Brien said, frustrated.

"But I CARE!" Archelle argued. She can hear her brother sighed in defeat.

"Whatever. Don't blame me if you suffer more after this okay?" He warned. She groaned out loud.

"You're not helping me!"

"You're not listening to me!"

Both of them grunted. Archelle then said in defeated voice, "Fine, fine. I appreciate your advice, bro. I just.....can't do it. I want him to confess to me first....well, IF he did have feeling toward me, that's it."

"How long you want to wait, sis? Until you have wrinkle on your face? Until he grow beard, happily married to someone else? Sis, you gotta be kidding! Loves can't wait for too long, nothing can last forever!"

Archelle cannot help it but to laugh at her brother's antic. Boy, he sure is a great philosopher at such a young age. "I can't believe you're still 15 years old."

"Shut up, sis!"

"Okay, okay. You're right.... Hmm, talk to you later. I need to get enough sleep to gain more strength to face him tomorrow," she said while yawning.

"G'nite then, sis. Oh, and said hello to Brie, will ya?"

Archelle froze at the mention of Brie's name. Gosh, it's been a while since I last heard her name! She almost blurted out to him about Brie not being her friend anymore, but then she remember that her brother is completely clueless about this. "Okay, I will," she said, nonchalantly.

Before she falls into sleep, the last thought that came to her mind was not Marcus, but Brie.

How have you been, Brianna Matthews?

******************************

"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down...Lon-"

The music stop mid-sentence by a slap on the alarm musical clock, followed by a series of curse.

"Damn! Why do this stupid alarm has to go off at this hour!! Fuck it! Fuck fuck f-"

The curse was stop by the pillow thrown purposely to the source of the voice. "Stop fucking cursing!" The attacker said in annoy voice.

"You heard yourself, bitch!" The curser argued back, began to slowly sat on the edge of the bed, yawning soundly.

"Eew, have some manner, will ya?" Another voice said with disgusted tone.

"You shut up, dumb blonde!"

"I am not blonde, are you blind?"

In an instant, three of them laughing hysterically. Ever since the friendship break-up 2 months ago, Brie has became closer to Bella & Maria. Wherever and whenever the situation is, people never miss 3 of them walking together, laughing and talking and gossiping about anything. Brie has been doing so well in her study. She got the best mark in mid-semester exam, her lecturers are so proud of her that they started to talk about potential make-up Hollywood celebrity, as they quoted it. For the next 3 month, there will be the final exam, and then they will graduate in the Summer.

Nobody ever mention Archelle's name when Brie is present. But in her absence, Bella & Maria is still talking about it. The things about Brie's feeling toward Archelle has been remain secret, with only Bella & Maria knew about it so far. Brie never made herself drunk anymore, is no more depress, and she is moving on with her life. She never attempt any relationship to anyone so far.

Throughout all this, occassionally Brie is still thinking about her Archie. She is still in love with Archie, and she didn't know how to get over it. Bella once told her that In order to forget someone, you gotta find someone else to replace that someone from your heart. Brie doubted that she will met someone else in future. After all, her future career matter the most.

"So, Brie, what's your plan for today?" Bella asked, while preparing herself to go to class.

"Jeez, I am so jealous of you, Brie. I wish my class got canceled, too," Maria interjected, slightly pouted. Brie just laughed, and smile at both of them.

"Oh, come on, guys.... Life is boring without classes," she said, and mocked yawning, causing her to be rewarded with another pillow attack. "Hey, stop it, girl!" She squealed with delight.

15 minutes later, Brie was freshen up and is ready to go. Both her roomates raised her eyebrows. "What? Can't a girl dress nicely for once?"

"Where you wanna go?" asked Bella.

"To the library, of course. I need some change in environment," she said, shrugging her shoulder.

"Right.... I keep forgetting about our roomate turning into a nerd," Bella said, winked at Brie. Brie just protrude her tongue at them, and wave at both of them as they departed to the much dreaded long hour class.

*****************************************

P/S: Sorry for keeping u'all long for the update. Enjoy it while u still can, comment is always welcome ^^

last birthday

She came to me one day..... she said she will never bother me again. I asked her why she suddenly said that, but she just shrugged it off and took off.

We were not a close friend, and I always see her sitting alone in the corner of our school. Every lunchtime she spend most of her time lying down under the tree alone. Sometimes I can see her cried, but I never did bother to approach her 'coz what I was thinking at that moment is that she is not related to me so I have no right to interframe her privacy space.

I wish I have gut to do just that.....

Here I am. Standing at her side. She was gone long time ago, about 5 hours. And I was reading her journal of her life. Gotta tell ya, it was full of depression, and every pages I turn, I cried. I can feel her suffering so well, that I want to hug her. I wished over and over again of how I wanted to make her feel better and not letting her take her own life with her depression.

15 June 2004

I began this sorrowful diary becoz I dont have anyone to talk to and listen to me. Today, is just like other days. I sat alone, eat alone, play alone, sing alone, everything is alone to me. I saw some girls joking around and leering at guys and I was jealous becoz I wanted to be one of them. But deep in my heart, it's not gonna happen.

17 June 2004

My mom scolded me. She said some mean word to me. I'll never forget her exact word. "You are the mistake that I ever have, I wish you were never born." That's what she said. Did she really think that to me? IDK....

18 June 2004

I went to my doctor for my appointment. I might be out of my mind lately but I still cannot miss of what the doctors discuss about me.

"Her condition is not improve."

"We need to be there for her. But we can't...."

"Let's just hope that nobody will treat her bad, or worse, being closed to her and leave her."

They gave me some medication, which I always take whenever this illness attacking me. I was diagnosed with depression, and they are the one who asked me to write diary.

19 June 2004

I chatted online, and surprisingly i meet so many new friends, mostly girls 'coz I don't prefer to be friend with guys. They are all so nice to me, and they are willing to help me to get through all of this. This makes me smile, and is thinking that things are not bad sometimes.

5 September 2004

I've been busy with my study lately, so I have no time to write here. You see, I found new group of friends. They took great care of me. I am now one of them, and it makes me happy. They even thinking of celebrating my birthday which is coming soon in a month away. I never had anyone who wants to celebrate my birthday before. I always buy my own gift and wrapped it up and pretend that this gift is from other, and I will buy cake and sing a song for myself. Pathetic huh? but that will gonna change 'coz I now have great friends.

6 september 2004

I stop taking medication long time ago. I never felt this happy like this in all of my 16 years. Even my family couldn't take me down anymore, 'coz I now have strength from my friends. We always hanging out together, study together and even had sleepover several times. We talked about almost everything. But I never told them about me dealing with depression. I couldn't do that, 'coz I don't want them to change their opinion about me.

4 October 2004

It's my birthday's eve..... but, I suddenly feel weird. I feel like I need to do something to make this weird feeling go away. So I went to buy a cake for myself, a gift, a wrapper, and then I go back here n start cleaning my room. I never done this cleaning up before 'coz I feel like I don't really need to do that. I washed all my clothes, even the one that I never wear. It's been a one week holiday at this time and I was at home all days. My friends didn't contact me since the holiday started, and I was getting anxious. I was worried about what if they forget about their plan on celebrating my birthday? But I still keep hoping. I know they will never dump me at my special day.

...... I went to check my FB, and I am surprise, and shock, to see that all my friends are blocking me..... IDK what to do..... i gotta end it here.....

5 October 2004

My birthday..... my so-called birthday. I went to shop, no one wish me happy birthday, and then I saw my friends there in the mall..... they were shopping without me.... at first i thought they want to give me surprise but then, I follow them until they finish with their shopping. when I called them, they just looked at me, the same look I got in my depress day. They ignore me, totally ignore me...... on my birthday, i lost hope, i lost my friend, i lost trust......and slowly, i think i'm gonna lost life..... maybe, just maybe, i was born to be meant to be like this..... this could be my last entry, 'coz I am convince that by tomorrow....i shall not be there anymore...

Maybe.... it's best if i just go.... to somewhere where i will never bother my family and friend anymore.... they will be leave in peace.....without me,their life will be so much better.......

I cried by the end of her last entry. On her birthday, 5 October 2004 at 6pm, I received news from her neighbour that she shot herself after she wrapped gift, singing happy birthday song, and eat the cake. The bullet hit her chest, and lots of blood gushed out from it. Her neighbour immediately called 911. I never knew her that well, but I have a sudden instinct that I should went to see her. When I came into this room in ICU, seeing her in ventilator, I feel like wanna cry, full of regret. If I ever knew what she's been through, I will never let her go. But it's too little too late. She did open her eyes, when she see me, she smile and with slightest bit of her breath, said "thank u......i dunno u, but......this means so.....m..mmm..mucchhh...ttoo....m.mmm.ee.ee.e...."

i whispered "happy birthday" to her, and she smiled, crying. "ttthhee.....b...bbbesssss...ttt.... gift......e......evverrrr....rr...." and she is gone after that......

It is indeed, her last birthday, and hearing her said that my wish is the best gift she ever had, makes me touch. I manage to make her feel special in her last moment. I wish she didn't shot herself, we would become friends then.... but, maybe God wants her to be in the better place. I hope..... she will be happy up there..... i will always remember u.......

the end.

wasted love

There was once a girl, who has a crush on this person named A. Everyday she woke up she keeps hoping that she will meet A somewhere around the place where she study. Every morning she keeps singing in the shower, humming every love song just the thought of A. Everytime she saw A, she just keep staring at A with her peripheral vision. However, she never have any gut to even meet A's eyes. Her heart keeps pounding faster just the sight of A, and keep on wondering that when will A ever notice her.

One day, while waiting for her friend's car, she saw A standing alone below the tree, apparently reading something. She gulped, and heard sharp intake of breath of herself. She began to sweat profusely, her hands are shaking so bad that she had to grip her shirt just to control the shaking. Suddenly, A turn his eyes on her, and she nearly faint. Their eyes met from far away, and it feels like this is happening for few hours instead of just a faint 30 second.

She tried to form a smile, but ended up forming a smirk. A raised his brow in wonder, and she blushed.

"Ohmigod, A's looking at me! Shit, what 'm I gonna do?" She whispered. But before she could form another thoughts, suddenly she notice that A is now standing right in front of her. She form a smile again, and this time a real smile appear. But, A did not smile back. She wonder why, and before she could argue some possible reason, suddenly A just pass her. She looked at where A went, and feel a sharp of pain in her heart when she saw A is hugging another girl. She can feel tears form on her eyes, while gripping on her shirt so hard that her knuckles turn red.

She was so frustrated at that time that she failed to notice an arson with a gun that aim toward her. She couldn't even form a scream when the bullet has hit her chest, and splashes of blood burst out from the bullet wound. She looked at the shocked expression on A's face before she hit the ground and bleeding to death. The last thing she heard was....

"Poor her. I don't even know her, too bad."

And so, she died with that word keep playing on her mind, while nobody is truly mourning for her.....